What You "See" Is What You Get

There was a story that circulated several years ago about a woman whose husband’s job required them to move to an arid part of the country, far from her hometown. She shared her feelings of isolation, loneliness and frustration in a letter to her father. The father wrote back:

Two men looked out of prison bars
One saw mud the other stars.

Two friends of mine and I attended the same event. One of them complained that he had not met any interesting people because everyone was “snobbish, stand-offish and unfriendly.” This was news to the other friend because he had made several new contacts for his business, as well as met someone who shared his passion for fly-fishing.

What was the difference? I think it was the attitude that these two men took with them to the event. Before leaving for the event the first man had made the statement that he probably didn’t have anything in common with the people he’d meet. The second man, though he could have had similar thoughts voiced a completely different outlook, “I’m sure I’ll meet some interesting people.”

The human mind wants us to be right! Therefore, it looks for evidence to prove that the preconceived notions we take into business or social situations were not wrong. If we tell ourselves that this client (or manager) will be hard to deal with then we subconsciously not only look for behaviors to validate our belief, we can also send out unconscious signals designed to elicit behaviors to confirm them.

We’ve all heard the story (true because it’s happened too often) about the veteran sales representative who came in demanding a new territory. “When I was assigned this territory,” he told his manager, “Everyone said it was full of problem accounts and no opportunity for new business; and they were right!”

The manager assigned the account to a new representative, one who hadn’t yet got to know the veterans well enough to be included in their water cooler complaints. Six months after taking over this worthless territory the young woman’s numbers were impressive. She had increased sales to existing accounts by 30% and acquired 15 new accounts! This, from a territory that was deemed a sales rep’s graveyard by everyone else.

She was dealing with the same people, the same companies and had the same number of none client businesses for prospects as previous salesmen. The difference? She went looking for opportunities instead of obstacles.

This week, stop yourself when you find yourself “looking for the bad” and remind yourself that the things you look for are usually the things you’ll get!
Have A GREAT and Profitable Week!
Robert Hidde
bob@confidentliving.com