Let me tell you about a man I knew several years ago, we’ll call him Jim. During the first twenty-five years of his career, Jim had steadily progressed in the company he worked for. The track he was on would land him in one of the executive offices within three years.
Then the company sold to an overseas company. As so often happens the buyer began selling off parts of the old business to raise capital and recoup part of their investment. Jim’s unit was sold and he found himself in his mid-fifties, three children in college, a mortgage and the other types of expenses that are common to everyone, rich or poor—and without a job.
Now, in my profession I work with people in Jim’s circumstances all the time, and often they are cynical, negative and filled with trepidation. But Jim didn’t come across that way. He appeared calm, focused and optimistic about the future. At first I thought he was putting on a good front, however after our third meeting it became apparent that his demeanor and attitude were genuine.
Curious about his secret for such serenity in his situation, I asked him how he achieved it. I was so impressed by his answer that I wrote it down as soon as our session ended. Here is what he told me, in his own words as closely as I could recall them.
“Years ago,” he said “I attended a seminar for new managers. At that seminar the presenter told us that reality is too big for us to comprehend fully at one time. Even the reality that I am living in now has so many elements, consequences and perspectives that I can’t keep every aspect of it in focus at once. Because of this I must choose which part of reality to focus my attention on at any given moment.”
He pointed a painting on the wall to my left and said, “What is that?”
“A painting of the Tulsa skyline,” I replied.
“Well, that’s your reality,” he said, “but when I focus on it I see an oil painting of the Arkansas River flowing lazily in the foreground of the city.”
Then he continued, “That painting is just like any reality. There are buildings, trees, the river, a bridge, a jogging trail, clouds and sky. When you looked at that painting you focused in on the reality of the buildings, when I looked at it, I focused on the reality of the river.
“In other words, I chose to focus on a part of the painting to the exclusion of the rest of it. That doesn’t mean I wasn’t aware of rest of it, I was, but in my mind the river flowing lazily is what the picture is about. But when you looked at it, it was about the skyline of the city and all the other things were just window dressing.”
Concluding his explanation, he said, “The thing I took away from that seminar that has served me well during not only my career, but in all areas of my life is that because reality is so complex and broad, I must select where I focus. That doesn’t mean I’m not aware of the other facets of reality, just that I can elect not to focus my attention on my problems and let myself get depressed, discouraged and defeated; no, I prefer to focus on opportunities part of this reality and the actions I need to be taking to get back on track again.”
Jim didn’t deny or ignore the adverse around him, he was well aware of the reality he was facing, but at the same time, he had learned to continue to live life to its fullest by spending his time focusing on motivating things rather than things that would de-motivate him. Jim also confided that he had learned to live by something he learned in Sunday School as a child, that is, living life to its fullest is the result of what we are, what we think about and what we can do with what we’ve got, not what we’ve surround ourselves with.
So, regardless of what you are facing, learn to practice selective focus because becoming preoccupied with empowering, encouraging thoughts you will have little time to dwell on the negative implications of what’s going on in your world. And, you will feel empowered to deal with those situations that require your attention.
Have A GREAT and Profitable Week!
Robert Hidde
bob@confidentliving.com
No comments:
Post a Comment