Rambling Thoughts On Super Tuesday

Tomorrow is what has come to be known as “Super Tuesday.” While this particular Tuesday isn’t “faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive and can’t leap tall buildings at a single bound” it is the day twenty states hold their presidential primaries.

This means that lots of republicans, democrats, independents (I suppose some states allow open primaries), rich folks, poor folks, folks-in-between rich/poor, sane folks (those who support your candidate), not-so-sane folks (those who don’t support your candidate), living folks (and in some places, folks residing in the local cemetery), white collar, blue collar, no collar, conservatives, liberals, moderates, right wingers, left wingers, no wingers, scotch drinkers, beer drinkers, bourbon drinkers, vodka drinkers, non-drinkers, wine drinkers, fat folks, skinny folks, short folks, tall folks, religious folks, non-religious folks (have I left anybody out? if so, let me just paraphrase the old Sunday School song, “Red, Yellow, Black and White they are precious in the Candidates sight…”) will be voting.

Frankly, I’m not impressed with any of the candidates (on either side) who are left standing. Strip away the rhetoric and they all claim, in one way or another to be like a former president who was fond of saying, “I feel your pain.” Naturally, each of them has a magic pill, potion, plan, or program that will not only ease our pain but immunize us from future pain.

It’s enough for me to cry out, “Alfred E. Newman, where are you!”

Most of you baby boomers remember Alfred, don’t you? He was a fictional fixture in Mad Magazine and seemingly every presidential election Alfred ran for president. Here’s a sample of Alfred’s opinions and wisdom:

"How come we choose from just two people for President, and fifty for Miss America?"
"In retrospect it becomes clear that hindsight is definitely overrated!"
"The only advantage to living in the past is that the rents are much cheaper!"
"Getting old is when a narrow waist and a broad mind change places!"
"It takes one to know one -- and vice versa!"
"Nowadays, a balanced diet is when every McNugget weighs the same!"
"Teenagers are people who act like babies if they're not treated like adults!"
"The U.N. is a place where governments opposed to free speech demand to be heard!"
"You can be on the right track and still get hit by a train!"

Have a great and profitable week!
Robert Hidde
bob@confidentliving.com
You know, after thinking about it, I might just write in Alfred’s name on my ballot tomorrow!